When I was in middle school, I went through an Anne Boleyn phase. I was very mesmerized by the whole story. When I found this book I was really excited. What a cool idea to retell the story of Henry and his 6 wives it in modern times. But what this book did was interesting to say the least
The book is narrated by Annie "Cleves" Marek, Henry's 4th wife, or in this case girlfriend. The book starts in the middle of the story. Henry is now with girlfriend number 5, Katie Howard. We get flashbacks to the other girlfriends and it can get a little confusing to be honest. The chapters aren't marked whether they are in the past or present so you have to figure it out for yourself.
The first half of the book switches between Cleves talking about the past and the present which leads up to homecoming, where the 5th girlfriend is disposed of.
I'm pretty much assuming everybody knows about Henry and his 6 wives at this point. He divorced them and two of them were beheaded because Henry was a big asshole. A quick wikipedia search will tell you all you need to know. If you don't know anything about Henry VIII, then the rest of this review has spoilers? I guess?
So where the book really lost me was at the half way point where it turns into a murder mystery type book. We learn early on that the 2nd girlfriend, Anna Boleyn, died in a prom explosion. Everyone thinks it was Anna's fault. That she was a dirty slut that was trying to kill Henry in the explosion for cheating on her.
Again, almost everyone knows that the real Anne Boleyn had her head chopped off. Everybody knows it was because Henry was tired of her and had a new girl on the side. It wasn't a secret. It was a very public thing that happened. So the murder mystery angle doesn't work here, because we all know it was Henry. And we know that he killed his 5th girlfriend too because that also happened in history. So why make the rest of the book this kind of John Tucker Must Die plot where the former girlfriends team up to try and figure out if Henry killed the two girls? They don't know for sure, but we the readers do. It becomes somewhat tedious honestly.
I personally feel like this book would have worked so much better if it were taken in a different direction. Start with the first wife/girlfriend and go all the way until the last one. Let's see how the characters would act if they were modern day teenagers. I think that would have been such a good book.
I also felt that the tone of this book just didn't work for me. It was very parody like. The book didn't take itself really seriously despite being based on real events that were pretty serious. A more dramatic take on this that dealt with the themes of slut shaming and toxic masculinity would have been fantastic. It tries to address this but with the goofy tone it takes, it doesn't work.
The characters were all stereotypes. This worked for some of them. I liked Parker. She was very over the top but I liked her the same way I like Blair from Gossip Girl. She's ridiculous but that's why you love her. I did not feel the same about our main character. Cleves was your typical quirky girl. She says witty things that really aren't witty. She claims to be a hardcore feminist but demonstrates this by kind scolding Henry when he says something sexist...and that's about it. Henry is awful but he's suppose to be. Unfortunately, it take Claves up until page 415 to realize this. They are best friends for some reason. She helps pull pranks on his girlfriends when he thinks they are cheating, all while claiming to be a feminist. He's cheated multiple times but she just rolls her eyes. That's Henry for ya! I'm not sure why they needed to be best friends in this book. I think you could have had most of the book be the same if she was just an ex girlfriend and not his best friend.
In conclusion, this book was entertaining enough to keep me reading but I had my problems with it. Especially the second half. I think there are some people that will really like this spoofy tongue in check retelling but it just wasn't for me. I received an ARC from Netgally in exchange for an honest review
